Community Solutions of El Paso

 NEWS

EL PASO SOUTHWEST SENIOR

Prisoners, Families form web of help,

ServicesBy Pat Carafano  

  Intently absorbing every word, 150 attendees began a second information-packed day of the Prisoner’s Family Conference on Feb. 27 at the Radisson Hotel.From across the United States, a blend of social workers, teachers, victims, perpetrators and missionaries had already mingled for a day and night to learn from each other’s wide ranges of personal experiences in the dark world of prison - before, during and after.Calling the conference “a hope-filled opportunity,” Carolyn Esparza, director of Community SOLUTIONS, produced the event after an intensive two years of preparation.Community SOLUTIONS, now entering its fifth year, is the only known non-profit social service organization exclusively serving prisoners’ families as a special population. SOLUTIONS has one-on-one and group mentoring programs for children of prisoners and a special support group for families with a loved one imprisoned on drug charges.IDs and interaction ?In his welcoming remarks, Mayor John Cook called it “really staggering” that people released from prison don’t even have an ID card, and stated that he has petitioned Governor Perry to make a state ID card available.Keynote speaker Joe R. Williams, secretary of the New Mexico Department of Corrections, said the most important factor to a prisoner’s well being is familial interaction.He called family visits “absolutely critical,” especially over holidays. He also stressed the importance of letters and phone calls from family members.“Our goal is to have affordable phone calls,” he said, noting that New Mexico law does not allow the Department of Corrections to profit from inmate phone calls.“Family is all you have in this world, and that all stops at the prison walls,” he said. “When somebody gets arrested, it’s the family that suffers.”Williams believes prisoners have rights, including the right to personal safety.One inmate put it this way: “There are sick people in prison who want to make love to you, and you have to fight to keep yourself pure.”The conference offered a schedule of workshops ranging in perspectives on the various effects of imprisonment.Ann Edenfield-Sweet described enjoying her successful dream career with an airline, owning several homes around the world with her pilot husband, until one day the world changed “in an instant.”As she sat holding her tiny fourth baby boy, the phone rang and she heard that her husband had been arrested.“I became penniless instantly, with a $3.5 million IRS lien,” Edenfield-Sweet said.Her book “Family arrested – surviving the incarceration of a loved one” details the loneliness and struggle from that moment on.While straining to raise four boys on only $800 a month, she started WINGS in Albuquerque, an international ministry for inmate families. WINGS has been honored with an award from the American Probation and Parole Association (APPA).One family’s story?Cecily Coleman was one-year-old when her dad was arrested and sent to prison. His sentence: 25 years to life. His crime: participating in a robbery which netted only $19.His distant place of confinement: the infamous Attica, scene of a bloody uprising in 1971.Mom Alison Coleman was “terrified.” She asked for a guidebook, but there was none. “There was no expertise out there,” she said.Determined never to let their family bond die as she watched other families “disintegrate,” she faced daunting challenges in contacting the New York State government.One of the biggest blows came when Alison was diagnosed with very aggressive cancer. Not one to give up, she spent a year making phone calls from bed to “people in power.”Still, Cecily remembers prison visits fondly.“We played every game you could think of with a napkin and a pen,” she said. Years later she celebrated her 18th birthday with a prison visit to her dad.Even with the continuing family contacts growing up, Cecily had the typical traumas experienced by kids of prisoners - was daddy cold? How was his food? What was it like inside prison (in comparison to violent crime scenes on TV)? But she matured fast, wondering how to help her working mom.At 16, Cecily began speaking publicly to groups, now calling it “the most powerful thing I’ve done.”Now Cecily travels the country with her story, and looks forward to her May wedding ceremony with dad by her side.Dad Jay reinforced the importance of visits, and emphasized that “survival” is primary. In his 15th year he had a conversation with himself in the mirror, admitting it was “all about family,” which got him through the final 10 years.Asked about re-entry, he said, “The most overwhelming thing was going in a supermarket and discovering how many different kinds of Cheerios there are now! I had to be debriefed!”Instructors with experience?“We have to learn from one another,” said Barbara Joy Hansen, a victim of sexual abuse, as she began an unlikely combination workshop shared with a convicted sex offender.Bob Van Domelen, a grandfather, author and nationally-recognized speaker, served time in prison and has worked in Christian ministry for nearly 20 years, ministering to other sex offenders.Hansen suffered 38 years of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of long-term incest and subsequent abuse at a church camp.“The sound when a child is violated is silence,” she told her very silent audience.“I grieved buckets, with gut-wrenching sobs, when I wrote my book, ‘Listen to the Cry of the Child,’ she said.Van Domelen, formerly a sex abuser for 22 years, said, “This is a tough topic.” One of the harshest realities for him was realizing the consequences of his actions on his wife and teenage children.Director of Broken Yoke Ministries, Van Domelen is a devoted family man who values his babysitting times with his grandchildren, but says there are only two things he will not do: diaper-changing and baths.Services wish list ?The two-day event offered numerous speakers from diverse organizations. Bizarre tales emerged about adult children’s sudden destructive addictions. Texas Youth Commission addressed specific needs for re-entry into family and community. Other speakers brought up the requests for legal services, the “relentless stigma” of sex offenders’ families, and the need for women’s support groups.Final speaker Chuck Gallagher dressed in prison garb and handcuffs to emphasize the fact that his rising career as a certified public accountant (CPA) was demolished by his criminal decision to mismanage funds.Esparza, author “The Parenting Business: Hindsight is 20/20,” is beginning to plan a similar conference for February 2010, possibly in another state.

 

Agencies and organizations interested in more information may call 861-7733 or email info@solutionsforelpaso.org.

 

 

 

 

 

EVENTS 

Prisoner’s Conference

February 23-25 2011

 

 

 

For more Events please see our Events Calendar!!